Hey. I’m Nicola. I’m 36, I live near London, and I’m still an over-user of emojis. Some things don’t change. 🤷🏻♀️
findingnoo started in 2018 as a tiny corner of the internet where I could just be myself. Back then it was beauty content and figuring out how to exist after years of OCD had made me housebound. It was something that was just for me — and looking back, that was kind of revolutionary for someone who’d spent her whole life existing for everyone else.
The name comes from Noo — what my mum has always called me. I thought the mission was to find little Noo again. The version of me that got buried under the trauma, the relationships, the years of keeping everyone else’s secrets while slowly disappearing. Turns out she was never lost. She’d been quietly steering the ship the whole time. But that’s a story for a blog post.
A lot has changed since I first started writing here. I’ve changed. This space is changing with me.
So here’s who I am and what you’ll find:
The real stuff 🪩
I live with depression, anxiety, OCD, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, CPTSD, and Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. I’m probably autistic and ADHD too because apparently I collect diagnoses like other people collect candles. 😅
I’ve survived abusive relationships — more than one, more than one kind. I’ve been trauma bonded, love bombed, controlled, and I’ve spent most of my adult life believing that suffering was the price of being loved. I’m in the process of unlearning that. Loudly. On the internet. Because the silence almost killed me and I’m done with it.
I also navigate something called love addiction — which is basically what happens when you grow up invisible and then spend your adult life chasing anyone who makes you feel seen, even when they’re not good for you. I’m working toward sobriety with that. Some days are better than others. I’ll write about all of it.
I work night shifts as a carer in a hospital. I look after elderly patients and it’s the kind of work that breaks your heart open in the best way. And sometimes the worst way. I’ll probably write about that too.
The lighter stuff ✨
• Capricorn sun • Cancer rising • Libra moon • Capricorn stellium (yes I’m a lot) • Still a gif jedi • Still rolling my eyes at most things • Tea is still life • Sarcasm is my love language (words of affirmation is the real one but the sarcasm comes free) • I have a dry sense of humour that occasionally alarms people • Spirituality and astrology are becoming a bigger part of my world • Amethyst is still my girl •
What you’ll find here 📝
This blog is where I write about what it’s really like to heal while you’re still in the middle of it. Not the “before and after.” The during. The messy, unglamorous, sometimes-I-see-the-pattern-and-still-fall-into-it truth.
You’ll find me writing about: mental health and what it actually looks like day to day (not the Instagram version), living with MS and chronic illness, healing from abuse and toxic relationships, love addiction and what sobriety from it means, self-worth and learning to take up space after a lifetime of shrinking, spirituality and astrology and trying to live more mindfully, and the ongoing project of becoming someone I actually recognise.
Sometimes it’ll be heavy. Sometimes it’ll be funny. Most of the time it’ll be both, because that’s how life works when you’re held together by dark humour and stubbornness.
Why “findingnoo”? 🧱
Noo is what my mum always called me. This space was supposed to be about finding that girl again — the version of me before the world got heavy.
But I’ve recently realised something: she was never lost. She’s been here the whole time. Quietly fighting for me. Making the decisions I was too deep in the mess to make myself. Every time I walked away from something that was hurting me, that was her.
So this isn’t really about finding Noo. It’s about finally listening to her.
Thanks for being here. Genuinely. This little corner of the internet has always been the one place where I don’t have to filter or shrink or keep secrets. And if anything I write makes you feel less alone in your own mess? Then every word was worth it.
Sending you love and kickassery, as always 💋💪🧱
Nicola xo
2026 goal: peace and alignment ✨
• cap stellium • night shift carer • healing out loud • probably crying • definitely sarcastic •
findingnoo.co.uk 